Hot Flashes, Brain Fog, & Rage Cleaning In Midlife: My Week in Review

Menopause is a trip. Buckle up for mood swings, meltdowns, and miracle cooling gear

Let me paint you a picture.

It’s Monday. I’m standing in the kitchen, staring into the fridge like it holds the answers to my life. I have no idea what I came in for, but I do know that sweat is now dripping down my back, and I can feel my internal thermostat staging a full-blown rebellion. Hot flash incoming. And just like that, the week begins.

This week was a hormonal rollercoaster with no seat belts and absolutely no chill—except for my new cooling face mask and blanket, which basically saved my relationship and possibly my own sanity.

Here’s the recap:

Hot Flashes

They don’t come politely. They kick the door down and set fire to my patience. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m pulling off layers like I’m in a Vegas strip show I never auditioned for. My dogs have started giving me the side-eye. My boyfriend tried to hand me a blanket the other night and I almost bit him.

Lifesaver Moment: I slapped on my cooling face mask, cranked the fan, and laid under my cooling blanket like I was cocooning myself in a glacier. Sweet relief.

Brain Fog

Midweek I attempted to reply to a simple email and somehow ended up reorganizing my desktop icons and Googling “how to spell Wednesday” (hint: it still doesn’t look right).

At one point, I found my phone in the fridge and my coffee in the bathroom. I wish I were kidding.

Trying to string together a coherent thought feels like chasing a balloon in the wind—possible, but exhausting and a little embarrassing. I’ve started writing everything down, including reminders to read the reminders.

Midlife brain isn’t broken… it’s just buffering. Endlessly.

🧽 Rage Cleaning

Listen. I didn’t mean to clean the entire house. I just started wiping down the counter and three hours later I was deep-cleaning behind the washer, muttering to myself like a woman possessed. My rage-cleaning sessions are both therapeutic and mildly terrifying.

By Friday, I’d organized the spice rack alphabetically, taken three showers to cool down, and considered moving into a walk-in freezer.

💬 Real Talk

Midlife isn’t cute. It’s chaotic. It’s sweaty. It’s full of unexpected mood swings, lost keys, and Google searches like “can intense back itching be a symptom of menopause?” But it’s also honest, transformative, and a little bit hilarious when you step back.

If you’re in this same storm—hot, foggy, and fuming—just know you’re not alone. Stock up on cooling gear, give yourself grace, and maybe let the rage cleaning work its magic.

Until next week

Jess

@moodswingsandmilestones

✨ Midlife. Messy. Beautiful.